Shopping carts and swan dives

I get an hour for lunch. An entire hour to do whatever I want without a tiny voice saying mommy, mommy, mommy... or in EZ's case... a tiny body hanging from my pant leg. The thing is, I use this hour to get my errands done, like grocery shopping.

I hate grocery shopping.

Today was a perfect example why.

1. I can never find what I need. Where's the current jelly? You've had it in the past and now all of sudden there's no spot for it. WTF.

2. There are too many slow people who seem to think they are the only ones in the store and block all the aisles.

3. Kids. Kids in grocery store. OMG. no. I know that they have to be brought there, sometimes there's no way around it but GAWD. I don't like bringing my own kids to the grocery store so I guarantee I won't like yours either. Do I sound like an ass... yeah well sometimes I can be. Thanks to Ava, she brought that to my attention recently. Using those exact words.

4. Finally. Motherfucking carts. Today's cart featured the loudest squealing, backwards, refuses to turn in any normal direction with all the other wheels, only gets worse with the more shit you put in the cart wheel. Sure I could have gotten a new one but dude, I only have an hour, gotta hustle.

Minus all that... I can, in one hour, out grocery shop your asses any day. BOO-YA!

what? he's just sitting on the cat. it's no big deal.

Oh yeah. Remember this post from yesterday? Yeah well, the boy child took a swan dive off the couch, last night. I can only assume it was that graceful, I don't know, I wasn't looking because well... the iPad had something interesting on it. Whatever, I was RIGHT THERE. I did see it out of the corner of my eye, that counts for something.

That little swan dive didn't end so well. Landing on your head, onto hardwood floor, from the back of the couch, sounds a bit like dropping a bowling ball. It took me about 0.00002 seconds to scoop him up off the floor into my arms. OOOOhhhhh the tears, snot and slobber. My poor baby boo. The fall was bad enough for Ava to even stop and gasp.

It was so close to bedtime and I was kinda internally freaking about concussions, brain death... ya know, the usual. This isn't my first rodeo when it comes to kids falling on their heads. The first time something like this happened... let's just say, J had to work really hard to get me to stop hyperventilating. Shit man, kids are very good at scaring the shit out of you. J and I checked on EZ many times throughout the night. This morning he's right as rain.

PHEW!